Whilst I’ve written about Cancer before, I’d like to acknowledge it’s power on World Cancer Day. When it enters a life, it changes everything. It wreaks havoc, nothing will be the same again. The word ‘Cancer’ has enough power to create fear, helplessness, lack of control, desperation, amongst many, many other emotions. Everyone’s reaction to cancer and it’s impact will be unique to them. The person that’s been impacted by Cancer, be it the patient, the carer, the partner, the friend, the daughter, the sister, the son, the mother, the father, everyone will have a different response, but they can all be treated with kindness and compassion, with recognition for their spirit – as one of the most common wishes is for life to return to what it was like before cancer.

As I reflect on my own journey, both as patient and carer, I’ve devised a 5 step approach, focussed on what enabled me to thrive after cancer, and an approach that I believe can be applied to life after adversity in general.

Acknowledgement and acceptance of the emotions that are present. I felt anger, fear, despair and a host of other emotions that impacted my mind, body and soul. I know now that all these emotions were valid and had a huge role to play in shaping who I would become.
Control – acknowledging loss of control in some area’s, but fighting for where I did have control. What could I influence? What could I adapt to? In which area’s could I choose my response?

Find the Sunshine – Who were my people? Which experiences would lift my soul? Where is the light in this situation? People surprised me, in a good way and in a way that hurt.
What’s the gift? What’s the learning? How will my life be different after this experience? Where is the richness? I chose to find the gift as a coping mechanism and a means of survival.

What now? How will I use this experience to thrive? What will be different in my life? I have made a number of changes in my life as a result of this experience – the most significant is setting up a business to share my experience and empower those that I work with to navigate their way through adversity in a way that’s meaningful for them. Challenges are an essential part of life, but we always have a choice in how we respond.

Cancer has been the most enriching experience of my life as it made me STOP. Through the suffering I learnt a lot about myself, at times it broke me, at times it lifted me, it made me appreciate the power of the simple things in life that we can take for granted. It challenges me still today, in a different way, and I have the perspective that enables me to use it in a way that drives me to thrive. I will not let it break my spirit and I will not let adversity break the spirit of those that I coach or mentor through the challenges that we will all inevitably face at some point in our lives.

If you would like to know more about using this 5 to thrive approach within your business or on an individual basis, please drop me a line.

So today, January 13th 2019, marks 5 years from when my treatment for Cancer finished.
What a journey it has been. To walk a path as a person who will never be the same again, whose dreams and hopes for the future they had visualised will never be realised. 5 years ago, 13th Jan 2014 when I had my last bout of radiotherapy, and I was truly thankful to be alive. Yes I was still Bep, and although I looked slightly different (shorter hair), I could still smile and convince people that I was fine – I was one of the lucky one’s. Because I knew that was what they needed to hear. They didn’t want to know that I had faced my mortality, that I was scared, that I was craving the return to some kind of normality in my life. I also wanted to forget Cancer, I wasn’t going to be defined by it.

But those wounds run deep. That fear is still present. Today I’m walking the cancer path with others and I see the fear in their eyes, the hope in their heart. The anger that they took so much of their life for granted before Cancer came and stole some of their dreams. The awakening of appreciation for each other, now that a future together isn’t guaranteed.

I believed I was invincible before Cancer, nothing would happen to me, I was the big sister and I would look after everyone before anything could happen to me. The dreaded C word had other idea’s, and to be honest, I am thankful to it for the biggest wake up call of my life. For me to realise ‘I matter’, for me to STOP thinking about how I could look after everyone else first and actually think about what I wanted and needed. This was my second chance.

All I wanted was precious time to enjoy the little things. Time with those who stood by me and helped me find the sunshine in those dark times. Time to redefine what I wanted my legacy to be. Time to slow down and just be. I have learnt some incredible lessons from walking the Cancer path as a patient and as a carer. It has taken my career onto a completely different path, and for that I am truly grateful, as I am now able to serve others in a far more meaningful way.

What saddens me is that we still have a very long way to go to understand the impact of this disease on all the lives it touches. To show kindness and the right support to those who are navigating life after cancer. To know that the wounds run deep and can remain hidden for many years. This is a disease that impacts the mind, body and spirit and everyone is unique in how they respond to it, so please take the time to understand the impact and offer support that is meaningful for the individual, both the patient and the carer, everyone will be affected.

But don’t feel you have to wait to be affected by cancer to appreciate all that you have in your life right now. This is as good as it gets, make your life journey one that you will cherish today and everyday.

Copyright 2025 © Rum n Wuk
BY: RUDE
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